How Not To Feel Alone While Living Abroad
The Yin Yang of Living Abroad
Most people don’t travel far from home, never mind live in a foreign country. People who move to another country are challenged emotionally by the differences of the host country. Our differences make us feel separate, alien, and lonely. Our similarities at home make us feel at ease, comfortable and connected. The question is, how do you stay connected and emotionally healthy while living abroad?
The Initial Excitement of Living in a Foreign Country
When you travel for the first time it is a kind of like falling in love. You experience a new place which comes with a menu of things to do, people to meet, and you are able to experience a new local lifestyle.
There is a huge difference if you travel solo versus with a partner or friend. Also, the amount of time changes the experience from an adventure to a deeper connection with the community you live in.
When you book a flight to a foreign country without a return ticket, it’s one of the most exhilarating feelings the first time. In 2017, I booked a flight to Colombia and ventured outside of the United States on solo trip.
It’s very similar to the feeling of moving to another city or getting a new job. It’s a new chapter in your life but moving abroad can generate intense feelings of uncertainty like no other chapter. The only certainty of traveling is uncertainty.
Life is already uncertain, we just hold on to things that make us feel more secure.
Here are three ways you can generate a sense of connection and unity while abroad:
1. Make a connection with a local
Most people travel close by their home and shy away from places that are too different. Let alone live in a foreign country or date someone outside of their race or culture. Most people in the countries I’ve visited (and people in general) are friendly and helpful. When traveling solo you are physically separated from support and that feeling that comes with it.
When I lived in Colombia, my Airbnb Host did a great job at building community and even invited foreign travelers to her family gatherings around the holidays. I just celebrated Christmas and Los Reyes Magos in Mexico City with a local girlfriend and her family. You feel a sense of warmth and ease when you are sharing the holidays with locals even though you’re a stranger and may miss your family.
Connecting with locals makes a huge difference.
2. Talk to friends and family back home
This is the more obvious one but I want to recommend leaning more into relationships as opposed to just keeping in touch. Unless you are trekking in the jungle you can still create closeness and be a part of your friend’s and family’s life.
Call often and regularly to give and receive support to your friends and family. I don’t do this as often I want but when I do it makes me feel like I’m still part of the family and less alone.
3. Take care of your health and well-being
Whether you are from a different culture, race, or gender the feeling of separation can trigger negative emotions so by taking care of yourself physically and emotionally you can offset that feeling. Sign up with a local gym, yoga class, and got to the same cafes (if you work online) routinely. Also, join group meditations and journal often.
Anything that slows your brain down and connects you to your breath and body will make you feel more connected within and so without.
“On a spiritual level, separation is the only problem humanity has.” - A Course of Miracles
Bonus: Create a blog, write a book, start a newsletter
I’m a big fan of sharing my personal perspective with the world because you never know who you’ll inspire, support, or what opportunities you’ll attract. Making time to share what’s on your mind, heart and soul will lead you to exciting new places mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
“What did Jesus mean by this: "If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you." - The Gospel of Thomas
This can be manifested from journal writing and learning about new interests & passions.
If you need any support with this, feel free book a call with me. I’d love to go as deep as you are willing.
Don’t let the fear of being alone stop you from living
The truth is you can feel alone at home with people you live and work with everyday. The feeling of separation comes from within and while you’re abroad you can totally use this opportunity to embody a stronger sense of unity inside.